1) What was Don Van Vliet's favourite gargle while on tour?

Was it a) Blue Bols b) Green Chartreuse c) Black & White Whisky d) Red Rum

Connor McKnight's 1972 interview in Zig Zag #29 includes this description of Don on a tour bus:

"..to relieve a sore throat, he was passed a tiny bottle of Green Chartreuse, with which to gargle. Having taken a swig and swirled it around his throat, he became harassed - as if looking for a receptacle in which to empty the stuff. Finding none, he spat it onto the floor of the bus, just under the seat, explaining very apologetically that he had been unable to swallow it in case it'd made him drunk!"

By the time of 'Clear Spot' Don had lost that shyness about swallowing. Bill Harkleroad in his book 'Lunar Notes' recollects drinking Cognac, Drambuie and Grand Marnier with Don. "His favourite was a French liqueur whose name escapes me - it would really coat the throat and ease the vocal chords."

2) Name either of the two dancers who opened Captain Beefheart's concerts on an early 70s UK tour.

In 1972 it was not unusual for groups to have dancers gyrating to the music on stage. Some of them even took off their clothes.

Only Captain Beefheart would think to employ dancers as opening acts; soloists dancing to their own music, a world away from rock, pop or jazz.

Beefheart's Royal Albert Hall concert opened with a satirical variation of the ballet 'Les Sylphides'. The lone ballerina in the spotlight was Karen Bernard.

Nowadays Karen is based in New York and is still dancing professionally. She continues to challenge conventional expectations of what dance should be, not least because of her physical shape.

The New York Times described her as, "a big, forthright woman with an interest in nontraditional dance movement and a gift for capturing the essence of a gesture."

"I do not have a dancerly body - and therefore my work deals with the unexpected image..."

Recent unexpected images from Karen include a subversive interpretation of the catwalk movements of fashion models; and a woman who pulls banknotes out of her underwear in a reverse pastiche of private dancers.

In 1972 Karen Bernard was studying at London School of Contemporary Dance where an audition notice for the Beefheart tour was posted.

"The creation of the piece was left up to me ... I now look back -- and am amazed - because it was the first dance I ever made. I remember that I had to work around big speakers and equipment - which I didn't expect."

"These performances were frightening to me - because I was a novice performer plunged into performing in front of a huge audience. The other act ... was a pro. She told me to have a steak before performing - that it would calm my nerves."

Dressed in white and wearing a tutu, Karen appeared as the corny stereotype of a ballet dancer. The other soloist, The Fantastic Farina, completed Don Van Vliet's visual pun by performing as a belly dancer.

"This was a very unusual act - to go before a rock band. It related to what they were doing - because it was sureal."

Karen particularly remembers one tour venue where she performed in a boxing ring. This would have been in Liverpool.

"The crowd was very rowdy. They weren't prepared to see a ballet dance ... When I first came out they booed - I even had a tomato thrown at the stage (or what seemed to be a tomato - could have been my own paranoia) - anyway the happy ending to this story is that I completely won them over."

"The band also wanted to have a third act before their show - a glass blower - but that never happened - strange idea - just as strange as the band."

Thanks to Danny Houston who once asked, "Who was this ballerina? Why have I never read an interview with her?", and to Karen Bernard for granting me that interview, which took place by e-mail in April 2002 after I spotted the magic words Captain Beefheart and a reference to that UK tour on her website.

3) The Edgar Broughton Band enjoyed a minor hit in 1970 with their Van Vliet/Bermann/Lordan collage, 'Apache Dropout'. But which former Edgar Broughton Band member recorded a version of 'The Dust Blows Forward And the Dust Blows Back'?

A publicity photograph of a Broughtons line-up, which included a young Andy ‘Lewis’ Taylor, can be found at Lewis Taylor's fan site. According to Mojo of September 1997 Lewis Taylor played with The Broughtons for three years in the late eighties.

In September 2003 Lewis Taylor posted this message for the discussion group at his fan site:

"During a particularly 'dry spell' i decided that i was gonna cover the whole of trout mask replica. This i started with unprecedented gusto. But halfway through 'Neon meate dream of a octafish' i thought w**k this for a game of scrabble and gave up. But everything up to that has been recorded.

No idea what i'm gonna do with it."

Since that time Lewis Taylor's 'Trout Mask Replica' has been heard in the form of a demo CD and as mp3s online. There are no plans to release it commercially. Some of the tracks can currently be heard at Lewis Taylor's website.

4) Don Van Vliet said that New York is a bowl of a) Cherries b) Soul c) Underpants. Which?

Kristine McKenna's interview with Don in the January 1988 edition of Spin magazine included this exchange:

"Have you ever spent time in a city where you felt something special and extraordinarily creative was going on?"

"Yeah, New York, but that was quite a while ago. These days it reminds me of a bowl of underpants. It's filthy there."

5) Which popular Czech protest singer, artist and poet who recorded twelve albums included on his 1970 LP a song whose title is shared with a Trout Mask Replica composition.

Paul Wilson, the Canadian writer, translator and journalist, who in the 70s was a member of the legendary Czech band The Plastic People Of The Universe, replied in a mail to my questions about Karel Kryl’s song ‘Dachau Blues’.

Paul has been a Beefheart fan for more than three decades and wrote a long tribute to him in the early 1980s. He didn’t know if Kryl was interested in Beefheart but Paul did look at the Czech lyrics I supplied.

“..there is no connection between the two songs, at least not lyrically. Kryl's song is a lyrical poem full of pathos and images of suffering, torture, bad dreams, etc - hard to translate, but written in a highly formal Czech poetic style. Beefheart's lyrics - but you know this - are pretty colloquial, and even playful.”

I still wanted to know whether Karel Kryl had been alluding in any way to Beefheart’s ‘Dachau Blues’. It was important to get this right. I was researching one of The Czech Republic’s cultural icons, a man who in 1994 received a funeral that was attended by thousands. Many of the mourners were foreign dignitaries and the President sent flowers. Who better to ask than a man who was a music critic before he became the closest aide to The Czech Republic’s most famous Frank Zappa fan, that same President, Vaclav Havel?

Vladimir Hanzel assured me that it was a coincidence that Kryl used the title ‘Dachau Blues’. Karel Kryl would not have known about Captain Beefheart or his music, especially in 1970. Kryl did occasionally use foreign words as song titles, but in any case the words Dachau and blues have international meaning.

It was clear that there were no more questions to ask. I’d heard some of Kryl’s ‘Dachau Blues’ online. There was not a hint of Van Vliet in the music. At least Paul and Vladimir had answered my mails. So many others had not.

The lyrics and chords for Karel Kryl's 'Dachau Blues' from his album 'Maškary' are widely available online. An English language introduction to Karel Kryl can be heard at Radio Praha’s website.

Thanks to Vladimir Hanzel and to Paul Wilson for their tolerance, and best wishes to all the Czech writers, musicians and artists who did not feel the need to dignify my questions with an answer.